Adjusting

I received an electronic notice this morning stating that a colleague has "endorsed" me for certain skills he thinks I possess. I don't want to sound ungrateful; I sincerely appreciate the sentiment and gracious intent. The problem is that I know myself far too well to feel flattered by the gesture, and for me that's a very good thing. Succumbing to flattery is akin to embracing an alkaline self-love--nothing grows in that kind of soil. I love how Buechner explains it: "Romantic love is blind to everything except what is lovable and lovely, but Christ’s love sees us with terrible clarity and sees us whole. Christ’s love so wishes our joy that it is ruthless against everything in us that diminishes our joy." The ruthless truth is that I clearly identify with the Apostle's self-deprecating assessment--"There is nothing good in me." Some may protest such evaluation as undue criticism or harmful self-condemnation; however, I deem it simply facing facts, admitting harsh truth at face value. As important as relentless honesty is for moving off dead center, the key to sustained personal growth is not in the acknowledging but in the adjusting. God desires productivity, not paralysis. As I confess my short-comings, I stand on the edge of potential improvement. God's Word never upholds inward judgment for the sake of judgment; instead, evaluation is always for the purpose of development. Stouthearted introspection has its place, but what matters most is a productive response to honest self-examination.

"For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God." (Colossians 1:9-10, KJV)